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2005-05-20 @ 7:03 a.m. - I'm so sporratic at this. Life is a kicker lately. I have too much on my plate. Guardian to my sister. What a joke. Who brought her daughter into my house too. All which is driving my daughter farther over the edge. I want a vacation from reality in the worst way. I look at my hanful of colorful pills and wonder if I could skip it all. Knowing I can't because who would taked care of every body if I didn't do it. I don't dare take any of my pain meds for my fibromyalgiea until night time and Steph is safe asleep. She see's my sister in a med haze to much of the time. I don't want the comparison. So pain is starting to take a toll. Not good when your bi-polar to begin with. I don't know what that judge was thinking when he named me her guardian. It's like haveing a 16 year old who's also 45. She's my sister, of course she's going to listen to me. At least she stopped drinking and the illicit drug use. Her doc and I had her committed to a 30 day ward after the hospital. We couldn't send her to long term so they are using me as the long term facility. EEKKKK! Did I say all this before? I'll have to check. It might just be one of those rerun days. I never seem to sit home anymore. I'm always going to a doctor or running errands. She can't drive anymore. They took her license away and I don't know if they will ever give it back. I love my sister but I really want her out of my house. Oh and my boyfriend finally asked me to marry him. But not until the house was clear of Tracy and her daughter April. Sigh! Well, if he really loves me he can wait a bit. LOL << | >> Older Entries - - 2005-05-20 new responcibilites-did I spell that one right? - 2005-04-26 this weekends moons - 2004-09-17 Virgo Begins - 2004-08-21 A poem by: Edgar Poe's Cat and life in The House - 2004-08-17