Today I Feel:: Just a little Away from it All

rings | older | image|cast |host

2004-03-18 @ 11:48 a.m.
Mad Wold

I have a new favorite song. Says every thing I always felt.

Tears For Fears
Mad World

All around me are
familiar faces
Worn out places,
worn out faces
Bright and early
for their daily races?
Going nowhere,
going nowhere
And their tears are filling up
their glasses
No expression,
no expression
Hide my head
I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow,
no tommorow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell youBR> 'Cos I find it hard to takeBR> When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting
for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday,
Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen,
sit and listen
Went to school
and I was very nervous No one knew me,
no one knew me
Hello teacher
tell me what's my lesson Look right through me,
look right through me

I took a liberty with the line cuts. my template was making its own decisons wht the cutting and makeing it even worse. So now it scans a little different. But any one who wants the origional wont have much probeblen hunting up the lyrics to the song. It was the them for the movie Johnie Darko. A very strange flick that had its own draw power. The tune really brings out the best in these lyrics and I hope anyone intested takes the time to find them and take a moment to listen to the music and lyrics together. They really can "cut" to the the "quick" of a feeling. I have been just a little more suicidal lately. Won't do it. I have children and oblications to them to stick around. But its not something that has ever bothered me in the least. Too bad it might scare me away if it did. I can't remember a time when that wasn't the case really. I was laying in bed latst night trying my best to find a time in my life when it wasnt't in the back of my head somewhere and I honestly cant think of a time except fleetingly when that feeling wasn't there. Thats why as a bipolar person I have to stay on my meds so religiosly. I can't slip up at all. I have no margins for error. I have decided to see my daughter graduate from school no matter what part of me want. I have seen too many people who have lost a parent young and wont let my kids go through that. The always thing its their fault and it wouldn't be really. Maybe in part. Just one more presure but thats like and alcoholic blameing work or home. and thats what this longing is just an alcoholic dream. A path that seems so easy and warm. I wouldn't be surrprise if I gave in one day. There don't seem to be any support groups etc. LOL but I try not to even though I do wish too. I have to many resoncibilitys. I guess it's just a warm comfortable path and I want it like I want a warm blanket and a new beginnig. I am tired of this movie and would like to see whats playing on the next screen, ya all don't wait for me.

<< | >>

Older Entries
- - 2005-05-20
new responcibilites-did I spell that one right? - 2005-04-26
this weekends moons - 2004-09-17
Virgo Begins - 2004-08-21
A poem by: Edgar Poe's Cat and life in The House - 2004-08-17

Layout by KiKi