Today I feel stiff from being outside

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2003-02-18 @ 3:35 p.m.
Steel Blue Day and Karma

Hello, today is full of rain. The sky and the ocean outside are the same color. That grey with a hint of blue, steel blue, battle grey. I can see the other islands in the distance but only the really close ones look green at all. The rest are dark.

I love it. My kind of day. Well, I am glad I don't work in this kind of drizzly weather but I do love it. The kind you like to sit on the porch wrapped in a blanket and just watch the water. We might get some snow tomorrow. If so, it is going to have to get a little colder than it is now. I sat out for awhile on my covered porch and had coffee and read for a while this morning. Lovely.


I sit in bed and cry
my soul out of my eyes
with every tear I do not shed.

Karma, do I believe
in Karma? That turning wheel?
I wonder what sins in what past
lives are being paid here in this small body.

Medicated enough to move
I loose myself. Too little and
I hurt so much I would
take knives to my own flesh.
Except,except for

The ties that bind any mother
to the earth. The earth, dark
nights alone and pain.
Karma, Karma, it all comes
back to Karma.

Did I do murder,
murder,rape, spit babes on
bloody swords for false kings?

Where comes this Karma? This
life? Now, tonight, while I hang
once again,upside down, on this fools tree,
that once spit runes and lit a shadowed time

for me, for me,
It only gives one more night of sacrifice.

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